i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
