Got a toothbrush?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
