My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
