sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This is the high leading the old right now
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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