I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
At least life still wants to fuck me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
