My brain says no but my pants say off.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
