Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
