There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
