i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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