I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
