and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
