what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I need water and some morals
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
