Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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