I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
