and you said cock pushups were impossible
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
