I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize