I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
