Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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