I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
