from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
