none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
