I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
