Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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