it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
