I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
