But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
