i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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