i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
