You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
