At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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