how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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