omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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