I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
