I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My penis needs a shock collar
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Randomize
