so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
