Already got asked if we're dating
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
