I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
