I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think your dad took our porno
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
