Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
