Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
