And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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