If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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