dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
