Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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