just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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