Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
