I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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