But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize