he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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