cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
