you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
