if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
