Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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