last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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