I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I touched a dick in church today
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
