I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
