My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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