Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
